Thursday, May 7, 2009

Twittering Facebook

A simple matter of getting friends together requires networking skills of mammoth proportions. 5 friends, 60 text messages, 24 emails to 9 email accounts, 18 Facebook messages, 10 Facebook pokes (the reason for which I am yet to fathom, will someone please tell me what it means and put me out of my misery), 15 emails sent via Blackberry, 8 messages sent via Facebook Mobile - yes just because they can, 7 messages left on mobile voicemail (that I discovered the day after the party), a gazillion twitters on Twitter, and there were probably a few posts left on other cyber communication spaces that I have yet to discover. And yet no one thought to make a phone call.

All this for one not very good party that started 2 hours late, ended an hour later and was inundated with confused and angry statements like:
'but I left you a message saying I couldn't pick you up'
'I texted you the directions. You didn't get it??'
'the invite was on My Space, you didn't check it out'
and my personal favourite:
'ofcourse I informed everyone this was a vegan party. I even put it up as a Facebook event'.

But if only the host had thought to pick up with phone and call us to let us know all of this, there would not have been such utter disappointment at finding Soya Chili Balls, Soya Nugget Curry Soya sticks and Soya Bean sauce at the table. Being vegan also meant that there was no alcohol, no salty snacks and no ice cream and so she really had nothing to improve spirits with and take it from me, soya really does nothing for intoxication. The host had forgotten to tag Forgiveness an invite. I heard one girl mumble to another - babe, when you took that wrong turn for the 4th time, you should have just continued down that road.

It had taken 5 avenues of technology to NOT get the message across.

When did picking up the phone and making a phone call get so un-cool? I can remember when it was THE cool thing to do. Getting an hour with the phone back in the days was the equivalent of getting your own Apple laptop today in a funky metallic red.

Then:
"What were you doing last night?"
"I was on the phone for an hour and I didn't even have to sneak into the closet with it."
Now:
"What were doing last night?"
"I was updating my profile page, after which I took 85 quizzes, wrote 106 comments, sent out 24 gifts, made 254 people my friends, then I twittered, looked through pictures of people I don't know, checked out pages of people I don't know and then cried my self to sleep when my hard drive crashed."

I twittered? It's become a verb now?

Do none of you find anything strange about this?

I went to listen to an Indian rock band the other night. Very good stuff, especially the cover versions. Mr. Too Cool For My Mike lead singer had the Axl Rose act perfected, right down to holding his crotch and staggering around the stage in an attempt to look like he was completely under the influence of the music and er, maybe a few other things (and maybe he was, who knows) . But the coolness factor took a beating when he all of a sudden looked genuinely excited and started pointing out to random people in the audience saying - hey, I know you from Facebook and you, I know you too from Facebook.

I mean, I ask you, would Axl Rose have ever done that?

Recently, a patient felt that it was okay to cancel his dental appointments on Facebook about an hour before he was due at the practice, despite me repeatedly telling him that it was impossible for me to practise dentistry and check Facebook updates at the same time. Sure it's okay, I told him later, but only if you're getting virtual dentistry done by Dr. Preeti Cyberspace-Sharma and as far as I know, she doesn't practise here. I was later very tempted to send him an itemised bill to his Facebook page and tag him on some close-up pictures of his teeth. How many of his girlfriends would still find him attractive when they discovered that he had four teeth with rotting food stuck and chronic gum disease.

Earlier when a wimp broke up with you, he would scrawl you a letter which you would then smell and touch and cry over till the ink smudged and then save it in a little envelope that you kept at the back of your underwear draw and you would take out and re-read it whenever they played Roxette's It Must Have Been Love on the radio. There was a certain ceremony to tragedy then. Now the wimp changes his status profile to single and that's that.

115 comments:

Idling in Top Gear said...

Lol, as usual!

The interesting thing is - a fb message generates an email which you can get delivered on your phone, which you can just as easily get a text message on! I understand why a lot of people choose text over talk - for one, it's much more efficient as it cuts out courtesy chat. But, sending someone a facebook message that goes to gmail and then to their inbox, which they can access on their smartphone is 10x dumber than just sending them a text message direct to their phone! Simple- easy - done! :)

PS1: Poke was apparently put in as a tool to allow people to convey interest in someone.

PS2: Fb events allow invitees to see who else is coming (among friends of friends) so they can decide accordingly. (Especially good for single guys to know if it's worth their time to show up at a buddy's housewarming when he can be out trying his luck elsewhere ;) )

PS3: What a loser, that rockstar! He'd have been more forgivable for asking if others recognized him from facebook. :D

Gradwolf said...

Lol, information information everywhere, and not one bit useful. Or rather not properly used. But yes, texting is always better because it is probably cheaper and is always to the point.

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Your best. EVER!! The last para is a phenomenal piece of writing!

And I am so on you with this! We have mobiles too now, people! At the least sms if you can't make it for a party! Chances are the hosts are too busy on the day of the party to check various models of technical communication. Just one is quite enough!

maxdavinci said...

loved the end...

the other day some was telling me that tehy haad already facebooked me and hence no intro was req.

since when did everything on the internet become a verb?

Gauri said...

LOL all the way !!
To add to the already existing complexity - you now have the iphone application for facebook and the facebook application for the iphone. Strategised inter dependence without any purpose. Poor me and other technologically challenged individuals who are struggling all the way, often getting the hang of things when the application is obsolete;):)

Preeti Sharma said...

IITG - I really should have you hotlined to answer all my crazy technology related questions. To me, the shortest distance between 2 points (or 2 people) is still a phone call or a text message. I thought a poke was to remind me of something I forgot!! But now that you clarify, I realise that it's to remind me of someone I forgot :) And the problem with an event up on cyberspace is that half the people do not reply on the same forum (unless ofcourse all of them are cyberfriends)!!!

Gradwolf - My point exactly.

B - Yes, you said it. And I think that nothing very important/private/urgent should be put up on networking sites because the only people who see it are the ones whom it is not intended for! Having said that, these sites are loads of fun for those who have loads of time.

Maxdavinci - Thanks. Yes ofcourse, facebook is the new handshake, LOL.

Gauri - Good one. They should also come up with technology evolution in slow motion so that the rest of us can catch up and learn how 10 additional steps can replace a single phone call or message.

sanely insane said...

ha ha ha...and that's that

:P

Preeti Sharma said...

Sanely Insane - :-)

RukmaniRam said...

"...and tag him on some close-up pictures of his teeth"

and what have we learned? Never piss your dentist off.

Preeti Sharma said...

Rukhmani Ram - Hehe, in general, and whether your dentist is on fb or not, it is an excellent idea to not piss her off ;-)

Anjana R said...

thank god my dentist is severely technologically challenged. :)

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Mama-Mia said...

:D

laughed out lot, but also realized how serious all this crap is! oh yeah! i got on facebook ekdum recentkly and am still to figure out why people love it so much! and making randon friends is so ewww! i thought we left that behind with orkut where one would get "can i makes frands wid u?"

i am a texting person, more than call! and email to keep in touch with friends who are not in town!

Vegan and party itself is like a paradox! :p

cheers!

abha

V said...

You summed it all up. I deactivated my Facebook account for a while only to be bombarded with texts from friends asking me why I would delete myself. Well, it's better than seeing them make status updates such as "A went to the grocery store" or "B is going to work" or "C will go to sleep now".

Honestly, I couldn't give a flying rat's fart about what they are up to unless it's something I want to be a part of.

I'd rather call or text to keep in touch with people. Similar to what you said, why complicate things when they are already simple?

Preeti Sharma said...

Mama-mia - Oh yes, how could I forget the "can I make frands with you". It would have been disgusting had it not been so darn funny! Actually it still is disgusting....

V - Those are lame, but I can't help laughing at some of the funnier ones. I look at it as Facebook's version of Twitter!!!

kusublakki said...

Lol!! Awesome post!

Preeti Sharma said...

Kusublakki - Thank you!

priya said...

hey..come back!its just not fair for your loyal fans !

Nithin Rajan said...

Good one! and the last para simply classy:)

Sathish said...

mmm... What is facebook?

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